so like I've got AIDS - this is why you get tested and treated early!

I'm a 25 yo gay guy in Ontario.And no, not just HIV+. I've been HIV+ for somewhere between 6 and 11 years now. No, AIDS, like, full blown AIDS. Like a viral load of 450k and a CD4 of 190. Like I've got PCP infection, it takes weeks to fight off minor skin infections, and the doctor said I have a real chance of dying in the next 6 months even with treatment.I moved from a situation where I couldn't afford meds while living with my parents to living in a small town and I didn't have a GP. I didn't know where to turn so I just sort of gave up. I even stopped seeing the specialist I did back when I was still living at home. I just sort of stuck my head in the sand and ignored it, didn't do my blood work, didn't see my doctor.When you test positive at 19 "dead without treatment before 30" seems an awful long way away. I just kinda pretended this day wouldn't come, but it's here.So guys, this is why you get tested early and follow up when you do and start medication right away. If you have barriers to getting care, fight them. Move if you have to. The alternative truly is death.I'm not even that afraid of dying, I'm just sad and disappointed at myself for having wasted so much. Even in the best case scenario I've probably shaved years if not decades off my life.tl;dr: You can still die from this motherfucking shit. Take responsibility for your life and get tested and treated early.