I'm really confused.

When I was young, I was obsessed with "what am I?!"

I had crushes on boys throughout elementary school. Never looked at girls that way. When I was in junior high, I thought I might have been bisexual because there was a girl I thought I was interested in. Later, I tried to convince myself I only liked girls. Eventually, I finally admitted to myself that I was definitely attracted to boys. Then I thought that maybe I tried so hard to convince myself that I liked girls that I didn't realize that I wasn't attracted to them at all. So I identified as gay for years. Then I stopped caring about a label so much. I didn't really think about it. I only said I was gay if I was asked about my orientation.

But now...I think I truly am attracted to girls. It's not the label that I care about so much as it is that I want to know if I truly am attracted to boys and girls as opposed to just trying to convince myself that it is so.

I like the idea of having a girlfriend and a wife one day. I watch straight porn 90% of the time but the large majority of whom I've dated were males. I've only had sex with males. 90% the people I end up being attracted to are males.

I'm just really confused. At the moment, I don't feel really attracted to anyone. I don't know if I subconsciously want to be attracted to girls because part of me still has that bias, thinking that boys should be attracted to girls. I thought by this age, I'd have it figured out. Hell, I thought for years I had it figured out. This is frustrating.