Middle aged, married, to late?

hello, first apologies as I'm typing from an iPad :)

So my question, I'm married 14 years, with a son 10 years old. I'm 48 years old, and I AM female inside. the light bulb didn't turn on till recently. My wife has in the past asked me if I was gay. I'm not. I'm super sensitive and empathic though and recognize a handsome man when I see one. That aside. I love girl things makeup. Clothes. I love women's magazines and I'm more comfortable with the girls than the guys. I an go on and on. But bottom line I am a woman inside no doubts.

I don't want to lose my wife, hurt my son, lose family, and destroy our place in a small community we live in. Yet I can't shake the feeling.

I came out to my wife and she freaked out. First she said we'd get through it and that I was her mate no matter what. Then days latter she turned and said she wasn't sure she could do it and asked to to talk to someone. So I did. The therapist said all people have male and female inside and that I was male yet I should try makeup and wigs if I want to. I told my wife this and she freaked out and told me its all or nothing. And I can't be partially one way or another. So I told her I thought I was male. And that was the end of it. ....... The problem is. I really am female inside. I don't know what to do. I love my wife. I want to be wish her for ever. Is it fine to it transition? I've stay ale. Or should I come clean. How do I protect everyone. My son. Etc...?..???? Sorry. I'm just stuck. If I was born again I'd want to be female. If iCloud go back 40 years I'd be female.