Learning how to find mr right as a gay man

I've been out for 6 years and for the first 5 I approached the gay scene in a similar way as traditional hetero men do.

I was trying to ascertain the qualities and values of men on dates which if they went well moved onto making out and a some oral stuff. I was holding off on the more naughty acts for MR right and it also seemed like the safe thing to do. Hold off on penetration till in a closed relationship presented itself so this way I had a low chance of getting any nasty std's.

This approach sucked ballz. I got myself into two long term relationships where the sex ended up sucking and the chemistry was all wrong.

This year I took a new approach which has been fun, fulfilling and much more successful in finding compatible mates and great sex.

• 1) Men want to hang out with other men and find common shit to do together.


• 2) If your horny and you want a hook up its all about the pics, dont get into other shit, its pointless


• 3) If your looking for a boyfriend, don't!


• 4) Just look for new gay friends to hang with.


• 5) Find guys on hookup and social media sites/apps and at bars/clubs, etc... and ask about what they like to do when hanging.
  


• 6) Find guys with common interests and fucking hang out - u already know the two of you are attracted to each other (because otherwise you just wouldn't have gotten so far) and if hanging goes well you going to hook up so dont even bother asking for that


• 7) have actual sex, not the half way act, the whole kit and kabudle - you want to give each other a chance to really bond and find something in the act which brings you together.


• 8) Either both of you find that something or one of you will find a reason to leave that night. if that person is you and you really weren't into the sex, leave. don't fucking cuddle and send mixed messages. if the other guys leaves or you offer for him to stay and he find a reason to leave then write it off. you can remain friends but he's just not that into you. their is the odd possibility he really needs to be somewhere the following morning, if thats the case he'll text you and make it clear he want to see you again.


• 9) keep hanging out and fucking. either its going to stick or someone is going to move on.

Maybe a lot of you already do this but coming from a very traditional upbringing and having a lot of ideas of what a proper mate was supposed to be like, my expectations got in the way of having fun and actually exploring. I chased after guys who where obviously not interested and mixed up horny hookups for something more just because the sex was awesome.

with this new way of thinking I'm moving through men much quicker and finding more guys of my type. also im not waiting on anyone. i accept its a combination of good chemistry and timing. sometimes someone is just not emotionally available at that moment. dont wait up, keep moving and you'll eventually find the right man for you.