Gay closeted guy in love with straight bestfriend

Okay, so I know there are a couple of these posts on reddit but there are some factors that I just can't find in some of these stories so I decided to share my own.Okay so through early high school years I was a bit of a loner I hung around with girls and was considered gay before I even thought that way about myself. So in year 9 camp I though I was in the haunted cabin and couldn't sleep (massive phobia of the unknown) anyways was offered to stay in this guy's bed on the floor because we were all scared in this cabin. This meant a lot because straight guys at the time already thought I was gay and wouldnt dare to think about sharing a bed. Anyway we got talking that night when everyone fell asleep and told each other things we hadn't told people ever. Let alone on the first meet. Anyway camp finished and I didn't think much about what happened or the person but suddenly he one day randomly asked me to come over to his house and chill. I of course was wrapped seeing as my girl group of friends weren't that nice and i never hang out with them outside of school.Being invited to someone's house was a massive deal to me because I felt someone finally thought I was interesting or worthy of spending time with. We had awesome chats and I really got to know this person. Not long after we considered each other best friends. So close that our group of friends somewhat suspected us of being gay together. But we knew we weren't and didn't really care. (At this point in time he was considered a brother. I never had any emotional thoughts towards him) Anyway we end up two years into the friendship having an argument and not talking for 7 months. These seven months were honestly so tough for me to handle. I remember crying to my mum telling her what had happened and how upset I was and her asking if I was gay or not. Me at the time would cry and ask why my mother would think that about me but the signs were there. I would think of him constantly and wonder why I cared so much about this friendship when before this I've lost best friends and dealt with it.So after the seven months our friends are having a debutante and want us to sit on the same table. So after asking both of us if we're cool with it we were soon sitting together after not speaking for a long period of time. After the debutante again he asks to me to come over and chill. I though it was the beginning of our friendship again and I remember him telling me drunk his "ready to have a bestfriend again" whatever that means. I'm secretly over the moon getting my bestfriend back. It takes some time and some playing around, he heal a lot of resentment still and was quite rude for a period of time. But now five years later are still best friends and ten times stronger.I see him on a daily basis, he always makes the effort to see me. Always shooting me a text to see what I'm doing. Me never sending one first because secretly I appreciate and wait for this to happen. I'm just the type of person who needs to feel wanted. I then discovered I was gay and come out to a few close girl friends and my twin sister. Which made me think about what he meant to me and what not. Turns out he means a lot. Too much to the point where I feel like I'm obsessed but I think this is what love feels like. I've always felt like I've never found the one but suddenly I think what if the one was there all along. Sounds cliche but when to talking to a couple of friends in serious relationships (one being married) I can relate to how they feel about there spouse by the way i feel about my bestfriend.The dilemma is, is that my whole group have always thought I was gay. Always telling me to come out and that it wouldn't matter. I've always told my best friend I wasn't but if we are that close do you think he knows and is waiting for me come to terms with it myself or has no idea at all. He just gets me, helps me crawl out of my shell practically gave me a group of friends. Can read my thoughts like a book. Sometimes it's way too much to handle someone knowing that much but also beautiful that someone honestly cares for you. But if he knows all of this surely he knows I'm gay.There have been a couple of instances where he has done some weird things like just be over affectionate or slip a couple words out drunk where I'm like is this the truth or drunk rambling. I know he is straight he has had multiple girlfriends over the period of knowing him and i know isn't physically attracted to guys. But I have a feeling he thinks just as much about me as I do him. Him being macho Boy he never admits to his true feelings unless drunk or high. That's the difference with us I'm an empath with high emotion and i have to get him at the right time for him to fully open up about things. So I'm left here wondering what do I do? I don't want to ruin this friendship. I've tried distancing myself but I think that just hurts both of us and which leads me to believe why ruin a good thing. But I can't continue to see him as much as I do and have such strong emotions because it's not doing me any good.Sorry for the long forum. I could write a ton of other things but want to save you the hassle of reading it all. Please feel free to ask me anything.