Crush/love/infatuation with one of my best friends

I say crush/love/infatuation because i'm not certain which one it is. We've been extremely close friends since we met, about 6 years ago in high school. There was a time back then where I think I had a crush on him, but it's different now. For all those years I was able to for the most part just have a normal friendship with him. Rewind to this past winter-we're friends, we party together (not just us, all our friends). It was winter break and i'm dropping acid for the first time. he's done it a few times before, but he's my buddy that i'm taking the tabs with.long story short, during the trip and coming out of it, i somehow came to the realization that I like..loved him lol. (acid is one hell of a drug...and I believe it can bring you closer to a person by doing it with them, but even beyond that, my mind was confirming my feelings for him. he's always been there for me, and was the first person to talk to me when i changed schools, and brought me into his friend group- which has become my friend group for the past 6 years.anyway, i'm usually away for school, but now i'm home- and my family moved like a state away, so when i go to hang out with my friends- i stay at his house. I stayed there the past few weeks. my mind goes crazy when i'm with him. for the most part i can hide what i'm feeling and stuff, but i think i definitely still act kind of weird and timid around him. And I just came out like a year ago, so now he knows i'm gay. He doesn't care about that- granted it might be different if he knew how I felt about him. It might make him uncomfortable.it's just awful, i'm pretty much constantly thinking about him, and when i'm away from him i'm not happy. but when i'm with him i'm perfectly content, even if we're not doing much of anything.It's weird because through the past years I was always fine around him, but now all of a sudden these feelings have emerged and I can't get them out of my head. it drives me crazy. I'm not considering telling him, i know (or at least am pretty certain) that he's completely straight. I wouldn't wanna ruin our friendship by telling him. Besides, he might be slightly aware already from how i've been acting. who knows. I guess what i need advice on is how to just act normal around him and not let my feelings for him affect how i am when i'm with him. And the thing is, of course it would be ideal to date him....that would make me endlessly happy- but i'm perfectly content just being close friends, and being able to spend time together with him.The biggest reason i'm even writing this is to just vent because i can't tell anybody else, and i can't get him out of my head. I came home the other day, but am going back to hang out with him in a few days, and I wanna make sure I give off a good impression, and don't do anything weird.It's also possible i'm overthinking everything, because i tend to do that, especially with these kinds of things. I analyze every little thing I do and he does and it might just be counter productive. I can't help it though. If it's a crush, it's the biggest one I've ever had, and I think it's more than that because i've known him for so long, and I know him probably better than most people.