Dear Porn Industry:
You suck. Let me tell you why.
For producing something called “Adult Films” you certainly fail in the “film” part. For one the production value is zero. Sets are so cheap they’ve achieved meme status. The cinematography can’t be bothered to be interesting or inventive so blocking, the choreography of the actors, becomes “point your genitals in the direction of the camera then fuck.” Your editing isn’t much better either. Sometimes its fine just because the cameraman is a wannabe Emmanuel Lubezki who somehow found their way into a porn set. Other times it’s just god-awful. These are two back-to-back frames of one of your “films.” Do you see what’s wrong with it? If not go back to film school because you just broke one of the basic guidelines of filmmaking, the 180-degree rule. The effort you put into your typical video is so low that your audience or famous-for-being-famous celebrities thinks they can do just as good a job as you which is sort of pathetic because sometimes they're right.
Your “adult films” also suck in the “adult” part as well because they are to the erotic what Michael Bay is to action. It’s all spectacle, with gratuitous shots of ass, boobs, junk, lady junk, hip motions, and sex positions that would fracture a dick, women sounding like they’re achieving a male orgasm with every thrust, etc. All these are nice and have their place, sometimes I’m in a hurry, but after the twentieth instance they lose their impact. Eventually it becomes so ridiculous that I can’t masturbate anymore because the blood has gone from my dick back into my brain as I try to comprehend what I’m looking at; in one instance it was some muscular dude using a fleshlight made of a 5’0 woman. It’s the 2 girls 1 cup effect except instead of disgust I’m looking with awe but both are still distracting. Your pacing also sucks. Once there’s full nudity there’s nowhere else to go but down. It should be the climax of the video but more often than not it’s the fucking happens after the stripping.
Your photos don’t work either. In some instances they’re too good; they look like they could be in an art gallery. I can’t jerk off to them because I don’t know if I’m supposed to appreciate them sexually or artistically. It’s because they’re completely naked so nothing is left to the imagination, the thing that knows a person’s fetishes the best. Another thing you insist on is the model looking into the camera, but whenever I see that I just want to say “no. let me be a total perv. turn away and start touching yourself you slut,” because porn is a fantasy. But is the fantasy that there is sex or that I get to see sex, something private and intimate, when I shouldn’t? Out of the two, I hope you think it’s the latter because the former is sort of sad.
Realism is another thing. Because of your insistence on the ridiculous men have unrealistic expectations of their dicks and I’m pretty sure women have unrealistic expectations toward their ability to enjoy, both of which are resistant to change unlike something like fitness. Your job is to make your view feel aroused, not fundamentally inadequate. And I have a question for twoxer’s and trollxer’s. When you masturbate do you strip all the way and aggressively fondle yourself while watching or reading nothing? Because that’s what I get from what I watch and I think it’s kinda unrealistic. Also, would the dicks they show in porn be painful in real life?
Another thing. Porn industry, you don’t seem to understand what “sexy” is because you insist on focusing on the genitals a lot. But the reason we as an audience focus on boobs and bulges is because they’re all hidden. Once we see everything our eyes tend toward the face. We all know this because it doesn’t matter if the tits are perky or the ass is fat, if the face is ugly we block it out and pretend it’s more attractive. So we find the actual action of rod into slot meaningless compared to the fact that it’s happening and that we get to see it and that it actually means something to the person experiencing it. There’s a reason these two posts are on the top page of /r/holdthemoan, we like the idea of it, implied or otherwise, so much that actually seeing it becomes redundant and also sort of gross, and if I wanted to see just dildo into fleshlight action without caring what the face looks like I'd look at an anatomy textbook.
You also need to hire male actors for reasons other than length and girth because a lot of them are disgusting. I don’t care what everyone else says, everyone’s a little gay so cater to it hotter dudes; you already do it with your female audience. And don’t be so unrestrained as usual and make being gay seem really scary by showing penises so monstrous and unrealistic it makes a even a nymphomaniac cringe, or really long nails. I imagine both hurt a lot.
Finally, do you guys have writers? If you do then they should be given a different title, because in whatever it is that you make, the characters almost never have a reason to have sex. They alway have an excuse, that being “it is a porno so boning is inevitable” but that doesn’t get anyone into it, least of all the viewer. I want to get off with the characters not to them because I imagine that feels a lot better. I’m not saying everything you make needs to be as good or as long as Blue is the Warmest Color but you can at least take something away from it. Make no mistake, your audience wants a good story. One of the highest post on /r/nsfw is a 134 page comic. Make your products better with competent filmmaking, an understanding of what is sexy, and a plot, because every day a viewer becomes a reader you fail. With that I want you to compare these two conceptually identical images so you see how good you can be, one from you and one from the east.
Sincerely,
Someone sexually frustrated in more ways than one
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