I'm really scared/Dealing with fear and inadequacy

Hi Reddit, I'm a 21 year old man from Kansas. I've just recently had a realization that the reason I feel like I've not been able to make progress toward my goals for such long periods of time is that I'm afraid.I've almost always felt fear in my life - when I lived with my parents together, I was afraid of the times my mother would lock me in my room, drag me across the carpet, or bind me with duct tape in the basement, especially when I didn't complete an assignment or refused to go to church (which happened often). I never saw much of my father - he was emotionally absent most of the time drinking alcohol. Eventually, my parents divorced and my father moved out, which didn't seem to affect me since I barely saw my father anyway.I eventually dropped out of high school because I saw no reason to continue; it did not align with my goal of self-employment. However, I found it very difficult to actualize my dreams - I was constantly afraid of being beaten or having my room gone through that I began living a life of pure existence, that is, I spent my time almost exclusively playing video games. I found it difficult to see a future for myself and felt extremely unstable. I constantly felt that my mother would throw me out of the house (she took every opportunity to remind me that I was going to be a failure). I wanted to have more privacy to work on my personal projects, because I knew that my mother had no interest or knowledge of the code I was writing - at least until I gave up on it for several years. I was so bothered by my mother asking me "who I was talking to" on the internet and constantly probing that eventually it seemed impossible to find the motivation to achieve what I wanted to.My feelings of fear later on turned into a combination of feelings of fear and inadequacy from lack of achievement.I later on moved in with my father when I wasn't sure where I was going to live anymore, which was scary for me. I eventually went to college for Computer Science which I dropped out of for a similar reason that I dropped out of high school - to pursue programming in my own time. However, my father didn't (and doesn't) support avenues other than school - he told me that if I didn't complete school, my life would suck and that I would never be happy. Then he kicked me out and I moved into a homeless shelter in the area (though I don't know if moving is the right word - I walked a great distance to get there). While I was there, I was able to study books on programming and math from the local library, though it just wasn't the same without a computer.(I've also not really felt comfortable around my father - he uses words like "faggot" and "nigger" unironically.)I have also feared that the community around me would actively try to destroy me if they knew I was gay or that I wanted to date men (even now it's scary for me to type). Racist and homophobic language is tolerated in this area and I've seen demonstrations to ban marriage between men.Because of this fear, I'm not comfortable really sharing my true aspirations with others around me and often lose sight of my goals. I know how to write down my goals for the day, make a to-do list, and achieve what I set out to do. But I'm full of so much self-doubt when I'm working. I fear for my financial stability and relationships with the people around me, especially in Kansas.Ask me if there's something that needs to be clarified or it seems I've forgotten something.So my question is: how do you overcome your fear and feelings of inadequacy and work on your goals when you feel alienated from everyone else around you?