I masturbate to Gay porn. A bit confused about my sexuality

Hey all,Since I was about 13 I've masturbated to Gay porn (and straight porn). I'm now 30. I am in a happy relationship with a female, but I still get the urge to masturbate over gay porn.For some reason it gets me more aroused. I often fantasise about meeting a Gay man public and having sex in public. But as soon as I've finished masturbating, all that desire is gone. Until the next time I feel horny.When I was about 15 I tried to get a good male friend to play strip poker. I feel so embarrassed now thinking back, and I'm not sure if he cottoned on. That's probably the only time I've actively tried to have sex with a man.Given the opportunity in the right situation (for example if I were single) I would have sex with a man, but my problem lies in self confidence, nerves. I don't feel attractive. I think guys would think I'm ugly.As much as I'd love to try the experience, I don't think I'll ever get the chance.In terms of sexuality, does this go beyond normal fantasies and is it time to admit I'm bisexual?