Single since forever (No advice or anything needed; just wanted to vent)

I came out when I was 16 because I had already figured it out by then and since then I have not dated anyone. I am 22(m) now and Im my my last year before graduating college and now these days I just feel weird about it now. Most of my friends are all in long term relationships which means they just treat you very differently. First off you never see them anymore because they suddenly grew a new limb that has a job, dreams and hopefully a bank account. or they look at you like something they have to match with something like a fucked up puzzle then they constantly tell you how much they wish you had someone or that you just don't know what its like. Ive been pretty content with just focusing on school and my career enough but just these last few months have led my to just feel kinda weird about it. Yes indeed it would fantastic to be in a relationship and I have moments where I can say no please I love being single its great and then there are other times where I just want to fuck a stranger in a bar or become a go go dancer or go do porn or something. Because i can get over the sexual aspects of being alone but its the romantic relationship bullshit which I cant replicate.I live alone, I work in a studio all day alone, I go out for dinner alone, I see movies alone. I feel like some kind of weird homosexual monster who just cant make proper human relationships who lives in a cave and just yells at passing couples.I tried tinder and some other ways to meet other gay guys(even just for a friendship) but those trails lead only to a creek full of disappointment and a men who live in the country. Or I just did not mesh well with them as I complain about movies and spit out information on art history while also loudly laughing.All in all I feel like a weird creature that cant form relationships and also flops around wanting to be in a relationship then back over to wanting to be single for all eternity because shared existence sounds like the worst thing ever. I feel very flip flop about the whole thing and my mind switches like every few hours. Does he want a relationship? does he want stability and someone to fill his bed? No he just wants to cry in his car at 7 on a Saturday after eating alone at a dennys? Okay. Also don't call me on speaker phone as you fuckers are driving down to a b&b asking if I want to get a room so we can all spend time together. If you got through that all. A+. Thanks for listening to me throw my feelings at the wall.