TIFU by having a romantic relationship with my pet fish.

Of course, didn't happen today, blah blah blah. Posted this on another sub and a friend IRL told me I should put it here.

I have a huge crush on a co-worker. More like a 12 pack of crush. It had been there awhile, and I had the toughest time doing anything about it. Out of nerves.

I failed the first time I wanted to ask her out, by asking if she'd like to come bake at my apartment. Apparently girls LIKE guys that can cook- but asking them to come bake colorful Parisian pastries isn't the most heterosexual way to go about it.

Fast forward about two weeks later. I must have woke up on the right side of my face, because I felt CONFIDENT. I looked in the mirror, liked what I saw, dressed up in my favorite outfit, and I was gonna ask her out today!

See her walking out of our Math building here with other co-workers. They knew I was gonna do it, and they shook their heads while she looked at her phone. I was a bit confused. Got a text.

She apparently got back with her ex the night before.

I was pretty crushed, because for once I felt confident. So I skipped that class, didn't matter because I was ahead anyway, and started walking to work across campus.

Down the hallway, see my crush. She sees me, waves, and walks over to take the stairs with me. Here's the conversation.

Her: Hey, /u/lenarka!

Me: Oh, hey! You seem excited today.

Her: I am! My boyfriend apologized and got back with me last night.

Me: Oh, that's uh, that's great!

Her: Yeah, it looks like we're working things out for sure this time.

Now here's where I messed up. I don't know WHY I said this, but I did.

Me: Well, my love life's pretty great right now too! (In an excited voice, not like sassy)

Her: Oh? That's cool, what's happening in yours?

By this time, every single "oh shit" thought was running through my head. The hamster running the wheel in my brain was chewing on his own foot. So, I thought back to see if I had anything at all to respond with.

Me: Yeah, I bought a fish yesterday. A betta, named Adolpho. I spend pretty much all my time with him now.

She just looked at me for a bit, and let out a sort of quiet chuckle. I still don't know how she took it back then, but a few weeks down the road, she friendzoned me so hard I can't even see a window to break out of.

My friends are still making fun of me for it. They keep sending me the South Park "Gay Fish" song.

Remember, Reddit: There's plenty of fish in the sea.

:(