[M][16] Living in a community where they literally hide girls from boys. Never talked to a girl before.

[Remorse] Let me start saying that I'm 16 and really since I was born in this forsaken backward ass country I was never exposed to females all my life.

Not in malls, not in streets, and for fucking sure not in school.

And it's so damn hard to live like this, I would be in the best mood ever until I see something remotely sexual and just like that I'm on the verge of crying, I'd feel so helplessly angry, frustrated, and often pathetic.

I'm not depressed, at least I don't think so. What I experience is slight sadness everyday, it is always in the back of my mind and I can't help it, it just builds up until I breakdown about once a week.

This is not a problem due to self-esteem or confidence, I'm well built, fairly good looking, and I've managed to have multiple online relationships often sexual, but they make me feel worse. So I abandoned the idea.

I have never talked to/kissed/dated/heldhands/had a crush/got rejected/ by a girl before and it's bringing me down every moment of my conscious life. I mean over half of my fucking school is turning gay for fucks sake.

In conclusion, fuck every person responsible for what I'm going through.

I plan on leaving this shithole the second I can, but in the meantime I need assurance that this is not making me mentally ill and it is normal to feel like this.