I'm a gay male living in Saudi Arabia.... Please hear me out, I need help

I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life, this has been the worst week of my life and also this is the first time I've ranted about anything on reddit so I'm not sure if this is the correct subreddit but please please hear me out.So first of all I'm an 18 years old gay male living in Saudi arabia, I've known something was up with me when I was 13 years old and I realized that my geography teacher was freaking hot,well it took me about a year to realize that I'm gay but when I did holy shit did it hit me like bricks..... Being gay in here is like a death sentence, I've been taught since 2nd grade that gays are the worst thing in this world, like they should be killed and pushed off high buildings cause they are the devil's minions..... well you get the point it sucks being gay here, so I did what I thought was right at the time, I forced myself everyday to pray and hope to god that he "cure" me of this "illness". it took me about 2 years of depression to realize this isnt working and I gave up, I decided to do what I thought was right at the time again and not get married ever, which in my head at the time seemed like the correct idea... untill I found reddit... I've been browsing reddit for most of high school and I've realized that being gay isnt as bad as people say it is, and it took me a while but I finally accepted myself as gay and I was happy for a while, that is until I met someone in my school, he is the most amazing guy you'll ever know, let's call him S, so the first time I saw S in my friends house I thought he was the hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on, like seriously the dude is a freaking 10, holy shit I wanted to scream like a girl when i first saw him, he's also the funniest guy I've ever met and when I thought he couldn't get any better in my eyes I found out he also plays the guitar and sings like an angel... oh my god if I had a single wish it would be to be in his arms right now but unfortunately he is as straight as a man can get, and he also hates the guts out of gays..... so while I've been drooling over this guy I eventually fell in love with him, we've been talking and texting each other daily and I thought I was the luckiest man alive...... well spoiler alert I wasn't, after a painful 10 months of thinking if he loves me or not I decided to confess to my friends and him that I'm gay and I love him..... Holy shit this.... this... was the worst mistake of my life.... he didnt take it well but my friends kinda did, well kinda, my bestest friend I told him a week earlier than the others and his first reaction was that I should go pray or otherwise he won't love as a friend again...... well you might think this is bad but it took him a week but he said later that he's sorry and he loves me the way I am, I really wish he didnt say this, it got me hopeful that everyone else will realize how I feel, they didnt, they said it was the devil playing tricks on me then they said I need to try the real deal before I "decide to be gay" and they eventually said it was hormones that was making me this way and I need medical help.... so I tried to explain that my feelings are true and not caused by a problem and it really really didnt go well.... today was the worst when I tried to explain one of my other friends let's name him J told me that I shouldnt be like this, and if i continue on being like this he would hit me till I go back to "normal" and he said I should go to S and tell him that I'm a man and the only love I feel for him is friend's love, and I did and he said that I should go watch some milf porn and man up and force myself to like it.... Well I didn't realize this at the time but all my friends were texting about me behind my back and trying to "fix" me, and I think today they flipped out both S and J told me to watch porn and J gave me his favorite porn video.... I tried to masturbate to it hoping what they said would be true but nope.... they were wrong... I've wasted an hour trying to masturbate to a straight porn video and it didnt really do anything but make me feel like shit... so that's my story... I'll pretend to "trying to get fixed" and hope they buy it cause honest to god I don't want to be alone without friends in here.Sorry for the long rant but I had to tell this to someone who wouldnt think I'm a freak.... I have no idea what to do right now but I really regret ever coming out to my friends... this was the worst idea and I'm the biggest idiot, fuck me.my english also sucks sorry for that.