I never knew it was this hard.

Pretending to be straight. I thought it'd be easy, but nope. Oh god no it was not. I had a talk with my dad and he started crying so I felt bad and I decided to try and convert into being straight. I just decided I need to try to date girls, and that was a big mistake. I liked this girl, and I've tried to be romantic with her about it. I've told her about my sexuality and I pretended to be romantically attracted to her, but damn it was just so hard to do! I cannot keep this act, it's making everyone confused. People in my school think that I'm faking to be gay, and I just decided to lie, to everyone, "I was just confused, sorry everyone for saying I was gay." I've gotten so used to being gay that I didnt even try to be straight. Sometimes I look at other girls and think, "Wow, how could I date that?" What's sad is that I've been trying to show my feminine side and I'm not supposed to. It's been hard to try to be masculine, because it's how you're supposed to act as a boy, which I am against, so I try to hide it. I just need help trying to hide it, that's all.