Feelings of isolation

(Posted this in /r/askGSM earlier but someone told me this was a better place to go, so this is a repost)I'll start off by saying that I'm a 20 year old gay man, and for my whole life I've never met any other gay man. A few bisexual men have entered my life occasionally over the years but they always ended up leaving my life weeks after I found out, before I ever even got the courage to talk to them (I was much younger at the time, too).I know a lesbian and a few bisexual women, but they're not the same, really, even if I have things in common with them. They're obviously not compatible when it comes to romantic interest, too.I don't want to sound rude, but it seems like every time I try to find any gay spaces they're just full of exceptionally horny hypermasculine gay men looking to have sex and ogle each other.I'm not like that. I'm mixed-race Irish/Indian, I'm quiet and shy, I have a low sex drive and I'm feminine (and not in that flamboyant twink way either, I mean I look androgynous and get mistaken for a girl on a semi-regular basis). I'm really not interested in partying or hooking up for casual sex at all and even if I was I feel like nobody would be into me anyway.I don't feel like I fit in with the gay community at all, so I feel pretty isolated since I of course don't really fit in with straight people either. It's really frustrating because from what I know of the lesbian community it seems to be a lot calmer and less sex-obsessed and people seem to be fine with butches but when it comes to gay males it seems to be just a bunch of super masculine guys who like other masculine guys that are not asian.There's gotta be other guys like me out there somewhere, but I don't know how I'm supposed to find them.