Do you ever feel like you really need to get laid but find yourself suddenly averse to hook ups?

I'll put the TL;DR upfront: I'm single. I haven't had sex for five months. The body is definitely yearning. I've had no problem being slutty in the past, and yet I think I've developed some weird aversion to hooking up. Like I waste time casually looking for one, and then find a reason not to. Should I just do it and get it over with?The long version (and warning, yes I do have a tendency to answer my own questions when I write them out): In college and a few years after I really only had one vice: sex. I look back it like "Wow, I was really, really slutty." But I don't really regret it. I was making safe, mostly sober decisions. I mostly think "Yeah, but that was pretty hot."Then things happen. Relationship and relationship-ish situations made me really appreciate sex with real emotion. Sex drives start to wane a little bit. The friends I hang out with now are kind of prudes with "good gay morals" (nothing wrong with that) and when they talk about their sex lives (or lack there of) it doesn't make me feel bad, but kind of weird and maybe their morals rubbing off on me. Plus I'm just older and everything that comes with it: responsibilities, more wisdom, and the fact some people would rather fuck a whatever 18y/o than a decent look 28y/o.So I've been single for well over a year. I've attempted a few hooks ups in that time. They were mostly disappointing. One with a guy I had hooked up with a few times ago form years ago. It was decent, but just not the same. Another was one of those "Wow, you're so close" Grindr shenanigans. He was ready to go the second I walked in. Like wasted no time trying to get it in, but had a lot of trouble actually doing that and we never quite got in a rhythm and just as soon as we almost did he pulled out and finished. I spent literally 10 minutes in that apt, then noticed he blocked me on Grindr as soon as I left. Few times had I felt as gross about myself after sex. The last time was a few days before Halloween, so about five months ago. Total dead fish. Would not do any of the work. I may have been a slut, but I only do all the work for love, money, or a really good "You won't believe who I slept with..." story (I'm only kidding about one of those). But damn it did I try to squeeze some passion out of that. I was trying my hardest to at least make this a good experience ...and then he lost his boner and said he could only keep going if we did bareback, so I politely finished myself up and left. So yeah a shitty string of hook ups that kind of turned me off the idea for a while.But ever since sometime in January or early February the urges have returned. The problem is, I just can't find it in myself to do it. The worst is sometimes I'll come home on a night when I have nothing to do, like a Monday or Tuesday, and wind up and end up wasting it with a combination of looking on the hook up apps, porn and various other non-sex internet wastes in between. Which is stupid because whose looking for a hook up on a Monday? I mean, I've even logged into Adam4Adam for the first time in forever!And when I do find someone who seems like a possibility I find excuses not to like, "Eh, too far away ...that is definitely too big for me to handle right now ...you know, but I could just finish up on my own in five minutes." And I'm not even that proactive about looking for it. I know I'd get better results with a shirtless photo or sending more than "Hi, how are you" but I just can't seem to be bothered.Yet, I really need --what the technical term-- to get banged the fuck out. It's literally physical, and its starting to fuck with me head. I'm wasting so much time just looking for it, and I think it makes me awkward around boys and is kind of fucking with my self esteem.(Plus, anecdotally, it seems like the last time I was in major hook up mode there's a lot more guys on hook up sites with "Not here to hook up" or are only into bareback sex. I find it so weird, but anyway.)But should I just do it? It's pretty apparent I'm terrified of another bad experience and kind of influenced by having more prudish friends now a days, but I should just find someone who really seems into me and into good sex and find a way to make it work, right? Is there anyway to get this all out of my head?