My Story

I know this might not be the most appropriate place to look for help in my situation or to let people read my story, but whatever. I'm going to tell it anyways because I'd like to share it.I'm in high school - a junior. My second semester began back in January and I noticed someone in my class who acted very feminine-like. I had a vibe that he was gay, even though I was "straight" at the time. Regardless, I think I sort of fell in love with him once I set my eyes on him. I had always sort of questioned my sexuality as a kid because relationships with girls never really worked out well with me. When I suddenly fell in love with this guy, I knew that I was either bi or gay. And now I'm starting to think I'm more gay than bi, but that's for later.I looked into getting to know the guy. His name was Hunter. I had a feeling he liked me as well because he'd look at me quite a lot for no reason. We got to know each other after I followed him on Instagram and added him on Kik. We began texting each other every day, and then we would Snapchat back and forth for days. We had a Snapchat-streak of around 24 days and we were each other's #1 best friends on Snapchat. But that's besides the point, again.We got super close. We're pretty much best friends now. After Joey Graceffa came out as gay, I decided to buy his book - 2 copies, because Hunter was also in love with him and I knew that it would make him happy. And boy, I was right.I've told him before that I'm in absolute love with him but he said that he only saw me as a friend. I'm hoping and praying to some higher power out there that he is saying this only because he doesn't want to be very open about having a gay relationship at school, regardless of how accepting I am of it.Ever since we've gotten close, I've acted a lot... different. He makes me completely happy. He means more to me than any girl that I've ever dated has. I don't know how to really even put it, but he is the only thing on my mind when I wake up and the only thing on my mind when I go to sleep, and I don't mind it. He's so attractive. I'd sacrifice so many things just for him.I wrote him love stories that I never gave to him... I still have each of them. One is called "Dear X", and another is called "The Truth". And then there's "Giving Up", when I felt like I wasn't worth his time or his effort. He knows that I love him, but I don't know if he knows how much I love him, or if he assumed that I just had a little crush on him.He's a freshman. I'm a junior. Age is but a difference, just like gender. His sister is also a lesbian, and I've talked to her day-to-day to try to understand what's going on and she's done a lot for me. Hunter got mad at his ex-girlfriend after she told me that I could do better than him. Whether or not he got mad because she said that or because he didn't want me to think that I could do better, I'm not entirely sure.He's said it before; he said I make him happy. And he said he cares about me. And I've told him that he makes me happy, and that I care so much about him. I honestly care more about him than I care about anyone else.My family is not accepting of the lifestyle that I'm choosing so they don't know anything really. After loving Hunter for the past few months, I don't feel like I'll ever be able to love a girl to the same extent as I've loved this dude for. I'm so in love that it actually hurts. I wait for the weekend to end and for Monday to come because he is the only thing that I can see every day that truly lightens up my entire world. Losing him would be the worst that could ever happen to me.I'm not sure what I should do in this situation. If you have any opinions, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you all so much...