Just a Shadow

His smile, face, just everything about him, makes me go insane. I have never thought of ever loving my friend. Never have I. That was how wrong I was.Ever since the day, where my thoughts of another guy, were filled by his image, I realized, that I fell in love with him. Every single day, we spend most of our time together, and until the day ends, we part goodbyes.I knew, he and I can never be together. He knew I like guys. He's just as straight as a ruler can be.His touch of his hands against mine, and how platonic our intimacy was, however, I never thought of it that way.His unstable relationship with his girlfriend, was like hanging on a thread, breaking, tearing anytime soon, but I'm there, to push them up.Sacrifices are made to make him bright as he was ever before, just to see him smile, in return of my happiness. I'll just hope I'll get over this feeling of loving him. Its futile.Now everything's going to be back to normal. I'm going to be pushed behind, a third wheel,following behind him and the other friend, whom he'd rebuilt his relationship with, after a storm.Looking at them, walking by my own, behind them,following, hearing the voice of their laughters, its like I'm never there, never included. I'll never get the same attention as I was getting before. Its like I never existed. Just like a shadow, I can be as far and wide, or as close, but I'm never there, never detached.Sometimes, being alone is nice, but it hurts to be lonely. Having friends hurts, but what would I do without any accompany? I'm helpless in this relationship. There's nothing I can do.