Off my Chest (Ace Edition)

The last 3 months have been rough on me. I've identified as Ace for about 6 months, but about 3 months ago I started getting really depressed. I felt so disconected with people. I just wanted to feel like everyone else; I just wanted to feel loved. Realizing that I had no one to blame but myself for all of these negative feelings, I began to spend a lot of time alone. I didn't want to push my self-created sadness onto others. I stopped answering phone calls, I stopped eating, I barely slept; after that I got really sick. I just wanted to ignore the fact that I was getting sick and not go to the doctor, but when I thought about the possibility of my family getting sick, I went to the hospital. After that I spent a lot of time sleeping, I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. Throughout that ordeal, I failed over half of my college classes. A week ago I had decided. That I need to open up abojut being ace to the rest of the people around me; being closed off was slowly killing me. I did that and received a non-confrontational response.This bring me to my current feelings.Something about me: I'm a Brazillian Jiu Jitsu Athlete; Sponsors and all.I had always imagined myself sharing my athlete page with the ace community and filling a little niche (I don't see much Asexual athlete representstion) so a couple of days ago I worked up the nerve to share my page on /r/asexuality. This page is of me, a real person.I don't have any explicit statement on there about me being asexual, and I don't want one at the moment. For me, it would be as if someone always introduced me as their "asexual friend". No, I'm not their friend, I'm their "asexual friend". I thought it wouldn't be a big deal that I didn't have cake plastered all over my page, but I guess it was.My post,and all of my comments that tried to explain why I posted were severely downvoted. I was crushed. I had this stupid idea that I would be contributing something wothwhile, I even got excited about sharing it with people who I thought I related with.The Ace community didn't like my page, or me, and I feel like an idiot for ever having posted it.I had been planning on going to LA Pride this weekend, but now I feel like I wouldn't have a good time.I don't want to be Asexual; I didn't ask to be like this. Often I feel resentful of others. Everyone gets to have this thing that attracts them to others and makes them happy. I have nothing. I don't want to feel so empty. I just want to be happy. I'm sorry to whoever I've subjected to my negativity, I really don't want to feel this way, but I cant help it.I'm to tired right now to spell check, so if there are a lot of errors, I'm sorry