Fell in the love with my bestfriend and it destroyed me

Around March of last year I started to develop a strong connection to one of the friends in my clique. I had known him for years but never really got to know him, but he was very persistent on getting to know me and I let him, and at the time I was glad I did because he ended up being the person I related to the most and shortly became my first 'bestfriend' so to say.Everything was great and I didn't think it would get any better, I was really happy with where I was, and I was doing well at school too. But, somehow it did get better... I fell in love with him around this time last year, but it was complicated as he was a straight male, and at the time I thought I was too... But he figured out something was up and asked me about it, I told him that I may be bisexual and to my own surprise he said he was as well. I did not confess any feelings for him, but we made a pact to always look out for each other because in our clique and friend group there was always backstabbing and .. you know, the usual. Over the next couple of months I fell deeper in love and our relationship became a lot more intimate.But then one day he just pulled out of it, told me he thinks he's straight and completely shut me out... He even told me he just wants to be 'friends' now and not 'bestfriends' like there was some ranking system to it. This is when the arguments started (I was still completely in love with him), and over the Christmas holiday break he just blocked me on all social media and blamed it on the arguing, even though the happy times to argument ratio was like 1:100, something just changed in him and it wasn't the same. This destroyed me and I fell deep into depression, he was the world to me and I felt like I couldn't live without him. When school started he went off to a different friend group and was even alone a lot of the time which made me feel terrible, I cared about him a lot. I sent him a text saying he doesn't have to be alone and he can rejoin our group any time he wants, to which he ignored.A couple of weeks later I got into a disagreement with, I guess you could call the 'leader' of our group (which I take full responsibility for, as we did have a rocky past and I hadn't been the nicest person to him a few years back). This resulted in me being exiled and left only with a couple of friends left at school. But then the real depression started when I found out the leader of the group and my ex-bestfriend (who were once enemies) had befriended each other over the common interest of hating me, and not wanting to be outliers, the remaining friends I had left ditched me to return to the dreaded 'clique' and I was left all by myself. I found out that my ex-bestfriend/person I loved had told one of his close friends about our 'situation' and had spread it, which may have been why he closed me out of his life so quickly, not wanting to seem gay around the others, and for good reason as after I was outted I discovered one of my friends was extremely homophobic and wouldn't talk or seat near me.I was all alone for a couple of months at school, I had lost all my friends and couldn't concentrate on doing anything at all. I would vomit in the morning before going to school and lost 15kg's from my depression, and I was already reasonably thin. I saw several psychologists but they never really helped and I ended up dropping out of school, a big mistake, and trying correspondence school which is going terribly. Its been about 4months+ since I left school and nothing is getting better. I still contemplate suicide and have attempted it once. I know people have it worse than me but I can't help but feel this way.Since I left I've had contact with the leader of the group and we've sorted stuff out but he still wants nothing to do with me. As for my ex-bestfriend I haven't had any contact, but no matter how bad they hurt me I only want the best for them, and I still care about them a lot.I don't know why I posted here.