I'm sorry, I can't do it anymore. Lovingly, a former ally

Well my fabulous and not so fabulous friends, it has happened, unexpectedly. I've been an ally for decades, since my first friend told me he was gay and scared in middle school, but I can't do it anymore. I feel terrible, like a part of who I was died. My wife of three years came out to me a bit back. We are having our final family outing for our daughters today. Separation and disillusion will follow immediately. I wrongly find myself with contempt and aggression for all of my gay friends. I know they aren't responsible for my suffering and that they have been nothing but supportive, but every time I see my them with their partners it reminds me of what my kids and I are going through. I wish the best for everybody and enough love and understanding to be true to yourselves. So here I am, checking out of the fight.