2015. június 24., szerda

Coming out online? (As ace)

Recently I realized I was asexual. Like, earlier this week. I always knew I was different, but I assumed I had a low sex drive. Everyone talking about sex was so foreign to me, I assumed everyone I knew were very perverted but when somebody suggested I might be ace I researched it and it matched me perfectly. It's not a huge deal knowing I have the label, I didn't feel ostracized or terrible for feeling so different, and I don't feel nervous or better for knowing I'm asexual. I just know that information now. But now, I'm thinking about coming out. Part of me wants to not formally come out at all, and just casually mention it when it comes up. Because the truth is, it's not that big of a deal to me. I still want to be in relationships with pretty girls like people have assumed, the only difference the type of relationship I want. And for some friends, this difference is something people already know about (one time I told my friends I'd rather watch Netflix with a girl than have sex with her, they looked at me very strangely). Coming out just seems like more awkwardness than it's worth. I'm not trying to demean asexuality but it's not the same as coming out as homosexual, transgender, etc. If it were something that largely effects my life like that I'd be coming out to my friends in person because that's more intimate and special. But this just seems... less important to be honest. To a new romantic partner? Yeah tell them. But is it super necessary to come out to my friends? I'm not looking for a definite answer, just opinions and thoughts.One thought I had was coming out via text chat. I know it sounds odd, but I talk to most of my friends online most of the time anyway. We voice chat and text chat throughout the day and play video games. A lot of the awkwardness would be gone if I could just chat with people one by one and basically say "Hey, have you ever heard of asexuality?..." (Part of the awkwardness for me is worrying my friends might not have heard of asexuality, but bringing it up randomly might be a bit weird and on the nose) "...well uhh, that's like... that's totally me." Would the lack of intimacy be that big of a deal? My sister is trans and I found out through her tumblr, that really hurt me. I've mostly gotten over it, it was a year and a half ago, but at the time I really hate that she never even came out to me. I read it in a blog post. Might this feeling be shared by my own friends? Or are those two very different situations, because coming out as trans changes more things than coming out as ace.

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