I'm 29 and bisexual. This is the first I've ever spoken of it.

Hello, I don't have anywhere else to turn. I am 29 years old, and in a relationship with a woman I love. But when I was 18 I hooked up with a guy I met on the internet. We met up several times over a couple years, always random, always on a whim. I really liked him but was super insecure at the time, and disgusted with myself but every time I would go back and hang out with him and we would fool around.Eventually he stopped talking to me, and I went back to girls for a bit. Then I had a one-time fling with an older gentleman in his 40s when I was 23. It was a long while before I did anything with a man again. I met a girl, we had a baby, but split up two years ago.I wanted to be with a man again and again met a man off the internet, and went to his house. When we took our clothes off he started getting really rough with me and kept trying to choke me. It ended up being a pretty bad experience.Present day; I have been with the girl I'm with for a while now, and we have a good life together; I may have urges now and them but I would never cheat on her. I have never spoken a word of this to anyone in my life. Only those three men knew.My problem is not the sexual compulsion. I think it's more from having kept it to myself so long, that I just wanted to be honest about it somewhere. Even if it's an anonymous username on Reddit.I'm not looking for specific advice or anything. Comments are welcome, but I just had to get it out.Thanks for listening.