Fear of looking for a new relationship

After 1,5 years he finally dropped the bomb on me, he doesn't feel 'it' anymore. All his butterflies are gone and he doesn't want to continue anymore and leaves me behind like it didn't mean anything to him. He said he still loved me and that he still cares about me but all he does is throw me away like the stinkiest trash in existence.This is what happend to me recently and it had and still has a huge impact on me. I feel as if everyone who 'loves you' eventually drops you. I was in the relationship I had but if I had known what pain, physical and mental, I would feel now back then, I would never even have started a relationship with him...I feel so lost, I really was happy with him, I woke up everyday with a huge smile and a happy feeling knowing that he loved me but as it turned out all of that was a big lie.Thank you for reading this, it was something that I wanted off my chest.